Restructuring My Paper

After giving my presentation, I felt like something needed to be changed in my research paper. The way I gave my presentation was the way I planned on structuring my paper. I planned on writing chronologically about the events in my mom's life where she's shown she was strong. However, while giving the presentation, I felt like I was being way too repetitive. I was always saying, "that was a time when she definitely showed she was a strong person" and it just felt awkward saying that over and over again. This caused me to start thinking about how I could possibly change things to make them go a bit better and maybe flow smoother. I came up with changing my thesis to something along the lines of "My mother is my role model because of the many positive traits that she possesses and has passed on to me." or "My mother is my role model because I see so many positive attributes that she possesses in myself." I'm thinking about dividing my paper up into different positive traits that my mother possesses and maybe explaining what that trait is. I then planned on describing the events in her life in which she has demonstrated that positive trait through her actions. Then I wanted to connect it all back by writing about the times in my life where I've demonstrated that same character trait. I feel this will nicely show why I admire my mother and then how I've tried to model my life after hers.